Welcome to the family
by Shinichi06
Summary: Castiel wanted the ground to swallow him up right that moment. Having Dean over for dinner was a bad idea, and this was all Gabriel's fault. The Shurleys were subjecting him to 92% scrutiny, 3% disdain, and 5% amusement.


FF – Supernatural

Welcome to the family

Warnings: Bad humour, and as much innuendo as the show.  
Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Gabriel, Balthazar, Raphael, Uriel, Michael, Lucifer, Anna, Zachariah, Chuck Shurley, mentions of Sam Winchester and others.  
Summary: Castiel wanted the ground to swallow him up right that moment. Having Dean over for dinner was a bad idea, and this was all Gabriel's fault. The Shurleys were subjecting him to 92% scrutiny, 3% disdain, and 5% amusement.

A/N: Man, I love dysfunctional/crazy angel!family. Or is it super protective angel!family? And also, doesn't it feel like every other thinks Cas and Dean have got something going on?

* * *

Castiel knew from the start that letting Dean anywhere near a 10km radius of his house was a Very Bad idea, much less even let him in. But Dean had insisted that Adam and Sam were having some kind of geek night with Ash and Jo and a great bunch of other people over and it was impossible to study, and so, Castiel, in hopes that the house would be empty, had relented reluctantly that perhaps they could consider his place for their studying.

So, of course, the one day that he brought someone over, was that same day which everyone decided to stay home instead of gallivanting outside to their shenanigans as per usual. Even their Uncle, Zachariah was in, going by the vehicles that were parked neatly by the garage.

"My family can be a little intimidating," Castiel said quickly as he fumbled with his keys. "And my brothers may be a bit stupid. Please ignore them."

Dean laughed gently, before gesturing at himself with a hand. "Hey, I'm a brother too! I know what it's like." Castiel chuckled nervously in response, before pushing the door open.

He pressed a finger to his lips, beckoning Dean up the stairs, hoping for the both of them to reach his father's library in the attic before any of his siblings found him. It was all going well and perfect, and just as he reached for the door of the library, Balthazar burst out from it, startling him.

"Brother!" He said in surprise, as Balthazar quirked an eyebrow, glancing at him in amusement.

"Cas." Balthazar said, eyes straying over to Dean. "Father will be back home tonight for dinner. Do you need a rubber?"

Castiel choked. "No! Brother, it's not… it's not like that! Dean's my study partner, and I tutor him for school. _That's all_."

Balthazar smirked, "Really? Is that what they're calling it these days? Study partners?"

"Brother!"

Balthazar laughed, "Whatever it is, Dean is welcome to join us later." He said smoothly as he headed down the stairs.

Castiel sighed, shooting Dean a furtive look. "Please don't take what my brother said to heart. As I have mentioned, he is an idiot."

Dean grinned, "No big deal, man. Big brother privilege." He snickered playfully. "Sounds like what I'd do to Sammy."

Castiel smiled wearily as he led him inside. "We'll start with physics. Did you understand today's lesson on inertia?"

Dean shrugged in response, "I get Newton's law fine, but Mach's principle is confusing. I don't really get what he's trying to say."

"Most physicists feel that way." Castiel remarked wryly as he shut the door. "There has been much difficulty in trying to precisely capture Mach's conjecture. Perhaps understanding how Einstein developed his general theory of relativity will enable us to better understand it."

Dean laughed as he set his bag down, pulling out his books. "Sounds like a plan, Cas."

* * *

The studying went well for the next hour or so.

His father's whiteboard was covered in squiggly diagrams as Castiel tried to illustrate the theory with examples, and he as in the middle of explaining free fall he coughed, realising just how parched his throat was.

It was also then that he finally noticed that he had neglected to offer Dean any drinks, and hastily tried to apologise for being a terrible host.

"I am sorry, I rarely bring anyone over, but it is no excuse for my poor manners," Castiel said, but Dean waved him off.

"Dude, relax. It's fine. I forget stuff too."

Castiel sighed. "Still, allow me to rectify my mistake. Would you like a drink? A coffee, perhaps?"

Dean laughed. "Sure."

Castiel nodded, "I'll be back soon. Please go through the notes I've written in the meantime." He said, and hurried down to the kitchen. As he passed Michael's and Lucifer's room, he overheard the both of them quarrelling and sighed, before deciding to stay out of his brothers' seemingly eternal conflict, when he ran into Gabriel.

"Casy!" Gabriel said chirpily, and loudly over the sound of the arguments. "Balthy says you brought a boy home."

Castiel groaned and pulled his brother along the stairs and into the kitchen. "He's a study partner of mine. And please, brother, no more innuendos."

Gabriel grinned. "Sure, kiddo, whatever you say!" He said, leaning on the kitchen island deviously as he popped a piece of candy in his mouth. "So, tell me, what's this boy of yours like?"

Reaching for a couple of clean mugs and setting them on the counter, Castiel rolled his eyes as he turned on the coffee machine. "He's a friend, and behaves like every other human being. Would you like some as well, brother?"

Gabriel appeared to consider that carefully. "Milk and four sugars! And two spoons of chocolate." He replied cheerfully, "But don't change the subject. Come on, who did you bring home? Daddy would be so proud. 'Darling Castiel is making friends!'"

"Father doesn't speak like that, Brother." Castiel said as he set another mug down while digging through the cabinets for chocolate powder with his free hand. "I think you know him. Dean Winchester? Samuel Winchester's older brother."

"Ooooh!" Gabriel's head piqued up in interest. "Sammy's brother? _That_ Deano? I didn't know the both of you were so… intimate."

"Dean wasn't doing too well in Literature a few years ago, and Mr Edlund suggested that I assist him. It escalated from there. We're… friends now, I believe." Castiel said calmly, as he poured out the coffee into the mugs.

"Hmm!" Gabriel smirked. "Well, I don't normally do this, but we've got pie in the fridge. Sammy said that Deano loves pie."

Castiel glanced over at the fridge as he handed a cup of coffee to his brother. "Really?"

"Yes!" Gabriel exclaimed, and taking the cup, he flitted away, "Anything to get you laid, darling Casy!"

Castiel rolled his eyes again, but reached for a clean plate all the same.

* * *

He balanced the tray precociously as he pushed the door of the library open, just as Anna got up from the chair from across Dean.

"Cas." Anna said, crossing the room and out of the library. "Use protection." She commented in humour, and laughed as she headed out. Castiel sighed as he set the tray on top of some papers on the desk, knowing his sister had probably put Dean through some kind of interrogation. Or worse, some kind of uncomfortable suggestion was thrown out.

He was about to apologise fervently, when Dean stared at the tray in excitement. "Dude! You brought pie?"

Castiel smiled privately. At least Gabriel was right on one count. "Yes, cherry. One of my brothers mentioned that we had some, and that you might like it."

"Dude, I love pie!" Dean said happily, helping himself to it. "Oh man, this is good stuff."

"I'm pleased to know you enjoy it." Castiel said, taking a sip of his own coffee. "Was my sister any… trouble?"

Dean shook his head, and swallowed a mouthful of pie. "Eh, she's cool. Just concerned, I guess. I'd be curious too, if Sammy brought some stranger home. You've got a lot of siblings, huh?"

Castiel nodded. "We're a large family."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, it is. I mean, I thought mine was huge, with Uncle Bobby and Grampy Sam and everyone, it's big. But then you have so many brothers, don't you? I can't imagine having so many siblings. Adam and Sammy are enough." He chuckled. "What's it like having so many siblings?"

"Noisy." Castiel replied, "but nice enough. Michael's the oldest, so he takes over as the head of the family when Uncle Zachariah or father isn't around, since father is usually away. It works out."

"Dad's usually pretty busy too, at the garage at all. I never asked, but what does yours do?"

"Father is an author. He writes fiction." Castiel tilted his head in thought. "It's why he's usually away. He's either at book conventions or signings, or abroad looking for inspiration."

"That's cool." Dean swallowed the last of his pie and put the plate away. "What does he write? Anything I know?"

"Father pens a series named 'Supernatural.' I believe it is an on-going work." Dean was now staring at him, slack-jawed, and he shifted uncomfortably. "Yes?"

"Dude? Your father is _that_ Chuck Shurley? And- oh. Oh." Dean grinned, "Dude. The angel Sachiel in the series was modelled after you, wasn't it?"

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "That is what my brother told me, so, yes, I suppose. Sachiel is a fairly interesting character."

"Dude, Sachiel is you! Man, that is so cool. He's pretty awesome. Sammy loves the series too; he really likes Saul, but I think Don's cooler." Dean remarked cheerfully.

Castiel beamed. "I will let father know how much you enjoy his works. For now, however, I believe it prudent to return to our studies."

They managed good progress for another couple of hours or so, moving from physics to history, when Gabriel knocked on their door obnoxiously and bounded in cheerfully.

"Caaaas," Gabriel sang, "Mikey said to tell you dinner's ready! Oh, and that he would 'be pleased to have your guest over.'"

Castiel frowned. "How did brother Michael know-?"

"I told him, of course. You're welcome!" Gabriel winked at Dean, and Castiel sank in his seat. "Welcome to the family, Deano!" And with that, he bounced away.

Gabriel was definitely the messenger of bad news, in Castiel's opinion.

"Dean, I am very sorry about this." He sighed. "But if brother Michael is expecting you, it would probably be better for the both of us to head down now. He rather dislikes it when things don't go according to his plan. I hope you do not have any food allergies or preferences."

"You're feeding me after a long day of helping me study? Man, Cas, I'd say you're spoiling me." Dean grinned, standing up to stretch his limbs. "Your family's really nice."

Castiel coughed. "I hope you still think that way after dinner. Let us go, then."

* * *

Uncle Zachariah was sipping whiskey at the kitchen island and shooting glares at any one that entered, while Michael was hitting the oven impatiently when Castiel and Dean reached the stairs landing. He ushered his friend towards the dining room, where Lucifer was already seated, playing with the utensils idly. His brother looked up when he took a seat, and smirked.

"Dean Winchester."

"That's me." Dean responded.

"Castiel has told me so much about you." Castiel scowled at him – he certainly had not mentioned to Lucifer anything about Dean. "I'm Lucifer, by the way, Castiel's second brother."

"What, you mean like the devil?" Dean blurted out.

"As in the _morning star_." Michael said coldly from behind them, holding a tray of stewed vegetables and placing it carefully on the table. "Lucifer, will you please stop sitting around and help me with the potatoes?" He snapped unhappily and retreated back into the kitchen.

"Oh, brother dearest, you know I'm always willing to help you." Lucifer proclaimed dramatically and slinked away after him.

"Uhm." Dean began, sliding down in his chair, but Castiel shook his head.

"They're twins. Fraternal, but still twins." Castiel said, head tilted in thought. "They argue much, but they're protective of one another. Brother Michael doesn't like it when anyone refers to brother Lucifer as the devil."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I guess no one would. I wouldn't. Should I apologise now?"

"Don't bother." Balthazar said as he waltzed in, taking the seat across from Castiel. "Luke doesn't care."

"He's a great big bag of dicks sometimes, you mean." Gabriel said, coming into the room as well and sitting beside Balthazar. "Just be on your best behaviour, Deano-boy, and smile when Mikey talks to you."

Dean nodded again, "So, er, any other siblings?"

"You've met Michael and Lucifer, and there's Raphael and Uriel, who are also twins, but were adopted, so please don't embarrass yourself if you see them later." Balthazar said smoothly. "There's Gabriel, and Annael, but please, call her Anna. There's also myself, and dear Cas there. You might have seen Uncle Zach on your way here, but unless you want to end up on his hit-list you're better off referring to him as _sir_. And finally, there's father, whom I don't think would care even if you called him a prick."

"Brother!" Castiel admonished, and Balthazar laughed.

"If you did call father a prick, I don't think you'll leave this house alive." Anna commented as she walked in, Lucifer trailing behind unhappily carrying a large pot. "Luke, father says to start dinner without him, as his flight was delayed."

Lucifer grunted in displeasure. "Father's always late anyway."

"Don't say that, brother." Michael scolded, entering as the room as well with a stack of clean plates and prodded Lucifer with his elbow. "Uncle Zachariah had to leave for work, so it's just us and our guest today. Where are Raphael and Uriel?"

"Brother Uriel is working on a chemistry project in the basement, brother." Castiel said calmly.

"As long as he doesn't bring the house down with a fire. And Raphael?"

"Methinks Raph has got a hot online date tonight." Gabriel said cheerfully, before whispering conspiratorially across the table to Dean, "Casy doesn't like Raph very much. It's probably got something to do with the stuffed uni-"

"I do not dislike brother Raphael." Castiel said firmly to Gabriel, and turned to Dean. "We merely do not have much in common, and hence nothing to converse about."

Balthazar snorted loudly in obvious disbelief, when Michael cleared his throat. "Enough. Your dinner is turning cold." He reproached, as Anna passed along the clean plates.

"Do you guys, uh, pray or something?" Dean whispered hurriedly to Castiel.

Castiel smiled. "No. Just eat." He said, ladling some of the vegetable stew and risotto on to Dean's plate and his own, and watched as Dean tried a spoon of Michael's cooking.

"Wow. Dude." Dean stared up from his food at the oldest sibling. "This is really good."

Castiel thought Michael's lips twitched for a moment, and his brother definitely looked pleased.

"Thank you, Dean Winchester."

Although, he really didn't want to know how Michael knew Dean's full name.

"Winchester?" Lucifer was staring at Dean in interest now. "As in, Sam Winchester's brother?"

"That same one." Gabriel said, "Pass the salt."

"I like Sam Winchester." Lucifer said thoughtfully. "All brains and innocence. It's the naïve ones that are the most susceptible, you know? It makes me want to-"

"Hey!" Castiel flinched when Dean jumped up angrily beside him. "I swear, if you do anything to him, I'll-"

"Sit down, Dean Winchester. Lucifer, refrain from antagonising our guest." Michael sighed. Dean sat down again, blushing red while Lucifer sulked into his food.

"Ooooh," Gabriel sniggered. "This one's got _balls_, brother."

The rest of the dinner would have passed in uncomfortable silence, until it descended into chaotic arguments and debates. As per usual, then, Castiel thought.

* * *

When the pot was finally empty of any remaining food, and Lucifer had retreated out of the dining room with a very blatant wink at Dean, Michael gestured Castiel to the kitchen on the facade of helping him with the dishes. Dean had offered his help, but Gabriel had pulled him away and towards the living room. After all, the entire family knew that Michael did not like anyone else messing up the 'order' of loading the dishwasher, and it was really just another way of saying 'we need to talk.'

"Castiel." Michael began, leaning, on the kitchen counter, arms crossed. "What intentions do you hold towards Dean Winchester?"

"We're just friends, brother." Castiel said. "I know brothers Gabriel and Balthazar seem to think otherwise, but I promise that if I were ever interested in anything more, you would know."

"I believe you, Castiel." Michael replied, turning to the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. "And I, of course, understand your brothers' flair for exaggeration and dramatics. Dean Winchester seems to be alright. He's willing to stand up for his brother, and a man that protects his family is a good man."

Castiel groaned inwardly. "Brother, was that a test, of sorts?"

"Perhaps." Michael said, just as the door to the backyard opened and Chuck came in.

"Father," Castiel and Michael greeted in unison, and Chuck waved a hand tiredly.

"Hey boys. Did you know there's grey smoke rising from the basement window?"

Michael flinched visibly. "Uriel and his experiments. Castiel, please heat up the leftovers for father." he huffed, and with a nod to the both of them, hurried away and towards the basement. Chuck shrugged and reached for an empty glass.

"Did I miss anything?"

Castiel shook his head as he fiddled with the buttons on the microwave oven. "No, father. But I… had a friend over today, and I think-"

A loud snap from the living room caught their attention, followed by a loud cry that sounded suspiciously like Dean.

"Ah. Maybe you'll want to walk him home now?" Chuck said sagely. "I don't think Gabriel's playing very nice. Daddy will be fine here, don't worry."

Castiel nodded, thankful, and turned towards the suspiciously dark living room, walking hastily.

He found Dean pressed into an armchair, with Gabriel brandishing a torchlight at him, Lucifer and Balthazar watching keenly while Anna ran through a checklist of questions. Castiel groaned as he flipped the light switch.

"Dean."

Gabriel immediately turned off the torch, hiding it behind his back and whistling innocently.

"Just a friendly game of questions and answers, Castiel." Lucifer said coolly. "Albeit, one very one-sided, but don't worry, we didn't break him."

"At least I don't think so." Anna quipped. "Question thirty-one was kind of perverse though, even for you, Gabriel."

"Spoilsport." Gabriel said, as Castiel rolled his eyes and dragged Dean away. "Come back soon, Deano!"

Once he had Dean out of earshot from the others, he breathed deeply, about to apologise again when Dean laughed and punched his shoulder.

"Dude, no apologies." Dean said. "Your family's crazy, yeah, I get it. Mine's too. You should try dinner at my place next week. Just don't get into one of your geek moments with Sammy and Adam though."

Castiel smiled shyly. "I think that would be nice, Dean. I look forward to it."

In hindsight, it wasn't too bad of a dinner. Unbeknownst to Castiel, though, his entire family was watching his conversation with Dean from the stairs landing below, while his siblings exchanged bets and Chuck found inspiration for his next chapter.


End file.
